The parent’s topic will be quite a concept I am going to be harshly examining on future blogposts. A vicious touch has already been given on by Dan Pena, RELENTESLY, so I recommend watching that guy for a good binge of hours to get the idea. Also, combine your understanding with the Parents section in The Six Pillars of Self Esteem.
The following part of this blogpost is a copy-paste answer I gave to someone on a stoic philosophy facebook group who asked “Why some fathers hate their sons?” Here we go:
Most parents live vicariously through their children. They want them to do things that they were too irresponsible to learn how to do themselves.
Bear in mind that a huge number of marriages are mostly a peer pressure result. Basically, others had mom and dad get arranged married, and it had very little to do with their own thoroughly informed quality decision.
Their WHOLE adult life ruined. Let alone have the self-esteem to admit the mistake to themselves and take action early. Years of their lives invested in a partner they figured out late it was a terrible fit, drained down the toilet. Then they try to play catch up, but they can’t catch up, too late cause too much time wasted. Then the existentially painful thoughts arrive, then we have substance use to try to suppress these thoughts… It’s just a major mess.
So they hate that part of themselves because it has accumulated so much pain over the years of procrastinating on it that the thought or view of it is unbearable. Existentially uncomfortable.
So when they see their children do the opposite they dislike them. But they don’t know how to teach the solution to their children as they haven’t taught it to themselves. And they keep disliking and disliking it over and over continuously so consequently, this negative emotion has been trained enough to qualify to the next level of intensity, hatred. (Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions). Many cases of parents murdering their children.
Resentment – having a child may have forced parents to unintentionally take over a responsibility they didn’t expect to be demanded by having a child or denied them their perceived standard of life.
Bar set too high – The parent expects the child to succeed more than they did due to the sacrifices the parent has made.
Indifference – The hardest one to accept in my opinion. Some people were just not meant to be parents and view their children as a burden.
Even if you have been loved, the risk of ending up like Britney Spears, or Michael Jackson who had their fame (love) taken off them suddenly is high. One needs to develop the habit of generating love from within by asking themselves, is this act of self-love or self-sabotage before proceeding with the associated action.